I am a rock. I am an island.

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 15:42:20 GMT

God's cruelest joke to date is taking away a person's eyesight and proceeding to make said person forget the location of her corrective lenses. It is so hard to find glasses when you can't see.

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 17:44:21 GMT

This is my baby.
Just so you know.

I don't know what's come over me since you stole my heart

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 12:45:12 GMT

EMILY HILLENBRAND IS HOME!!!! and i am not. but that is something that will be remedied in a week!
YAYAY!!

I leave this morning for a fantastic two-day hike with the family. pray for my sanity. hiking and i are not good friends. but i love my father, and being the goood daughter i am have acquiesced to this wish of his. so i love you and i hope you know that and i think it will be good. If i get eaten by a bear i am sure the word will get around. no worries.

que cera cera <3

Everything is so different only twenty-six hours away

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 14:54:47 GMT

I am beginning to doubt that growing up is all it is cracked up to be

because now my name is in the rotation of drivers for montana. oh unhappy fortune. luckily we have driven it so many times that i can do it with my eyes closed...literally... i will be asleep when it is my turn. see how they like that.

I moved into my apartment at school last weekend. I am probably most excited about my toaster. That and the pots and pans that just so happen to match. I love things that match. Anyone who knew me my freshman year probably knows that. There is also a real place in my heart for the 5" television (with vcr, folks) that sits across the livingroom from the couch. It dominates the room. how could you not focus when it is sooo small?

I have so many bruises. Annnnd I just called my nephew by my dead dog's name. Which is really too bad.

Emily is coming home so soon! I wish I had more time here to pay due respect to you ladies and fuzzy navels.

I have been dreaming a lot lately. And they all have to do with you.

I love you bushels and pecks and a hug around the neck

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 03:31:13 GMT

Lauren --
[noun]:

A person who is a master of making ravioli

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Yeah. I didn't like the first answer i got... so i changed it. I think that is generally a good policy in life... if you don't like something, to do something about it. that principle has its limits but as far as online naming thingy-ma-boppers go, it is the golden rule.

There are exactly 216 noodles in every can of campbell's chicken noodle soup. disturbing? comforting? i think you would really have to find serious solace in stability to be comforted by that fun fact.

Fun fact #2: I suck at driving stick shift and should give up before the poor little truck that is taking the beating just lays down and dies

Fun fact number three: I miss you emily hillenbrand. AND I GOT THE POSTCARD! yaya! thank you so much!
Closely related Fun Fact Four: Heather. I think it is time for us to make a date for each other again.

No more dog-sitting for lauren! High-fives all around.
There is a little bump across my right hand's thumb nail and as the nail grow it makes its journey north... i will be sad when it leaves me forever because it is pretty entertaining to play with when i am fidgeting. not that i ever fidget.

you are pretty cool. take it from me. i am a professional.

You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 16:24:53 GMT

This is me being a rollercoaster of emotion.

Everything around me is so damn inconstant. It has led me to appreciate the importance of family. They are the fucking rock in the middle of the Charybdis. So that is pleasant.

I have been house/dog-sitting for the past week and I can't say that I am at all for it. The dog hates me because I have to put medicine in her ear and then I leave to go to work and don't come back because I hate being alone in the damnable house. I think she is plotting my downfall and I think I am okay with that? But being here all on my lonesome has been very draining. I am a veritable sleeping machine. (slash love machine, mind you) I really wasn't cut out for this living alone ness and am suffering withdrawals without my ladies.

I watched this movie with from 1948 ish called the Heiress last night with my mom. We started watching it thinking it was so beautiful because this plain looking girl is so sad and homely at a party and then this stud comes and is amazing. Montgomery Clift you steal my heart. He keeps calling on her each day the next week and blah blah blah... so my mom and figure it is too good to be true and have no self-control, so we looked at the movie info and the description is something to the effect of "Fortune hunter seduces plain heiress in 19th century new york." I was so upset. We finished said piece of shit movie and when I was driving back to the pit of hell that is my temporary shelter the first song to play was Modern Romance by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Did I almost drive off the road? Mayyyybe.

Other than this boring I-Am-Such-A-Freaking-Depressing-Loser shenanigans there is this... My dad is picking me up and we are going to Costco in T-Minus 42 minutes. I love me some Costco shopping.

Emily I miss you terribly and am so glad things are happy in france! and i am totally jealous about the modern art museum. i hope you stole lots of priceless works of art.
Heather, I miss you too and I think it is a real shame that we have nothing to account for our seeing each other this whole week. I need some serious loving.

Love me

Em and Jess are the best Disney dates ever

Sun, 28 May 2006 08:51:01 GMT

I had something funny about each picture. But... I... suck.
1. Flashing in the Haunted Mansion
2. April Spooks my ass
3. The Praise of the Folly of Riding the Rapids Ride while not either a) naked or b) doning serious swim gear
4. The Asshole Bear that got away. Not coo'. Not coo' Baloo.
5. I am so strong that even before the ride started Jess was feeling ill because of my stellar Teacup spinning capabilities.
6. Em, High on "Life"
7. Disneyland really is the fucking happiest place on Earth!!!
8. Off to Neverland, woo ooh woo ooh woo ooh WHOA!!!

Fri, 12 May 2006 01:33:29 GMT

i am so damn lucky in so many ways, and i hate that i am constantly preoccupied with the things that suck when it could be so much worse.

i am trying to get better.

thank you for the yogurt mill run, ms. hillenbrand. it was delicious beyond all previous trips my tastebuds have yet to embark upon. hehe, you are the best, my friend.

oi! life is sweet.
i love you ♥
lots.
sorry if i have alienated you.
it seems to be my forte. we all have to be good at something.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Tue, 02 May 2006 20:27:05 GMT

My sister just called and told me that they are going to put my dog to sleep. That sucks. She asked if I would like them to wait until I get home on Friday. I said no. Who wants to deal with that shit? I would rather not.

I have decided that my serious oral fixation is getting to be a problem. I bought some Sweet Mint Orbitz on Saturday and was making real progress through the second of three packages when I realized that it is burning off a layer of my tongue and my jaw hurts from chewing so much. Then the roommate told me that there is aspartame in it and with the amount i have chewed over the past three days i basically have given myself brain cancer. So i got rid of the little that remained and she gave me some grape jollyranchers she didn't want. The problem being I don't even like grape jollyranchers, they taste like dimetapp. not that i didn't almost have my stomach pumped when i was three because i drank half a bottle of dimetapp because it was so tasty. i think that experience has left me wary of grape flavors in general. but i am still sucking on them because i must be doing something with my mouth. Dirty.

Well, i got very little sleep because my shakespeare final was at 7:30 this morning and i definitely was ridiculous enough to get up at 5:30 to study after going to sleep after 1 a.m. At least my professor should find my final entertaining because i was using very expressive adjectives and referring to don john as a bastard as many times as i could fit into a sentence without it becoming overwhelming. that bastard of a bastard, bastard. I love it. She will, too, undoubtedly. God, why am i in college?

Nap time.
Love me.
Love you.
♥

Watch out the world's behind you, there's always someone around you...

Sun, 30 Apr 2006 17:17:37 GMT

I am feeling the ambitious need to conquer a long entry. My apologies. There may very well be no logical organization to what follows, and i take no responsibility for that.

I think the best way to wrestle this one down will be to go over the course of events that compromise my yesterday. After some ill-advised purchases at Amvets and using my Costco card toward the good of my stomach by sample shopping with Rachel, I came back to my room. Jordan, the roommate, is gone for the weekend, and that being so I will let you in on a little secret... the best part of jordan being gone: not having to wear clothes. For the sake of propriety and not being totally indisposed if anyone happens to knock on my door, I have taken up the habit of wearing a slip when I have the room to myself. I was thinking about it. Marilyn Monroe was naked when they found her dead... and if I was going to die alone in a room, I would definitely want to be found naked, how glorious and dramatic. I think my wearing a slip is a move toward that because no one likes finding a dead person, so why not at least make it interesting? "Hey, I didn't know she had a dinosaur tattoo there..." I am really THAT considerate. I deserve encomiums beyond innumeration. Now, I also expect some beautiful eulogies to accompany such unabashed thoughtfulness. Just putting that out there. Only downside of walking around practically naked: Keeping the blinds shut... which necessitates my being holed up in this lair with two unattractive options of a light source, either the less aesthetically accosting light from my two lamps or the sterile hospital look provided by the room's overhead light. Oh unhappy circumstance!

After lazing about and reading I decided that I really wanted to get a new shirt because I have an incontinent desire to spend money. So I got my lazy self up and dressed and went to Target. So I bought one and found some shoes that, if I dare go so far, are pretty damn sexy. I also begrudgingly bought shampoo and conditioner... oh the pain of 97 cents per bottle ... and I didn't really like the smell, that being Suave Berry Smoothie, but it was the only one that had both the small shampoo and conditioner, and I am almost out with five days left to go. Ridiculous, I couldn't have conserved ever so slightly over the course of the semester in anticipation for the last week. Anyway. We will return to the subject at a later time.

When I got back to my room I slipped back into my slip and pranced around doing absolutely nothing productive, in fact, there are a good three hours for which I can give no account.. which leads me to believe that something terrible happened and I am repressing it, a fact with which I am fine. Around seven in the evening I decided to dress to the nines and go do some reading at Borders. Wearing my saucy shoes and tunic... along with pants... I did my makeup and pretended like I had someone very important to impress and seduce... which I am positive would have been accomplished had my meeting someone been the reality of the situation. Then I drove to Montclair and nestled myself between two shelves where the column made a gap and backrest and I read the last two acts of The Merchant of Venice. (Slight Interjection: My mentioning my reading material in no way solicits my love and/or enjoyment of said activity... Shakespeare can take a flying leap as far as I am concerned. I had to read it for a final on Tuesday. I swear! Don't judge me!) And then I moved to a chair and copied down some steamy Pablo Neruda love poetry that I am sure no one will ever think of when thinking of me... but in all fairness, who would? That is asking a lot of my prospective lover.

Speaking of which. Julie was writing about a speech contest (In Taiwan) she was judging and how one of the topics was the ideal man. One girl got up and said that her ideal man would be optimistic and humorous so he can be her pistachio nut and drive the clouds of depression away... and that is basically my thought exactly. The analogy limps in areas, but we will infer that she made it herself by thinking of the two shells that make up the one nut. I think it is beautiful.

Will you please be my pistachio nut ♥

So, I left Borders and came back to my room. And this time decided to put my new hair products to good use. I showered and stayed awake long enough for my hair to be in relatively little danger of looking heiinous upon awakening, but then when I woke up I was still dissatisfied. That is to say... for the first time I can remember, I have showered twice in a twelve hour time span. I don't even really enjoy showering. And I definitely do not favor the sweet tart smelling Suave products. But all the evidence would point to me being in denial. Whatever. I am back in my slip and any pending harsh words would only to cavil my sad state. I know I am neurotic. Please love me, my pistachio nut.

I think I should be stressed and studying for finals, but instead I will undoubtedly lose another day to inactivity. But at least I have done something. I have written a long-ass entry lacking all substance. Oh you love it.

You give me fever... til you sizzle what a lovely way to burn

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 17:52:29 GMT

I just got an exemption from the only final i was worrying about. That is nice.

I will be home in T-Minus seven days. That is nice.

I met with my crazy doctor yesterday and he is quite impressed with my progressive sense of self-worth... which may be due to legitimate progress on my part, or me trying to shield my neuroses from him and doing it well. i don't think i am lying to him when we talk, but i can never be certain. once you get me going i never shut up. i have been advised to confront an issue that is driving me bat-shit crazy, but i will hold off for now because, quite frankly, i don't want to. all aboard the non-confrontational train. destination Insane Asylum! hehe. it's not that bad. I wouldn't say it is nice, though.

My mom, gramparents and nephew are making their way up to azusa to help me move my things out before finals week, and that will be the epitome of everything i think i want but know will make me a little sad. it will at least be nice to see them, and thanks to the surreality of the idea of moving out of my cozy little nook i won't really be feeling any which way about moving out until well into next week. home is great. i will like to be there for a while. but it is good to be away. i appreciate life more.

i love you ♥

Destroy everything you touch

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 20:24:06 GMT

I am basically feeling the guilt pangs of finally making moves toward total consumption of the chocolate easter bunny that i got in my basket. It was so damn cute that I didn't want to eat it. I think that is legitimate. But then last night I was up writing this heinous paper until God knows when and the only sustenence within my realm was the bunny. What would you have done? I have now made it down past the ears and with the foil still intact it seems like it just needs some serious facial reconstructive surgery to facilitate full recovery. Hot damn I do enjoy chocolate. It's really too bad it has to be shaped like a bunny, it hurts my soul.

Finals are next week and I am basically just going to pretend like I have the right to be sleeping six hours a night when that is not very studious of me. But if it helps, I think Satan has stolen my ability to enjoy the sleep i get for the past three nights in a row, making me a very awkward and bizarre person to be around... so seek solace in that my go-getter-student-friends. Speaking of which, nap time? Yes. Yes, I think that is the correct answer.

"I found out a good many years back practically all I need to know about my general reader; that is to say, you, I'm afraid. You'll deny it up and down, I fear, but I'm really in no position to take your word for it. You're a great bird-lover." Salinger via Buddy via Seymour: An Introduction.

I want to thank you for make my world getting so Beautiful

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 04:07:04 GMT

I am definitely in a predatory mood... heh, whatever the hell that means. I tried so hard to be productive today, and have been successful insofar as I have not taken a nap. And I did manage to finish my terribly unsatisfying Shakespeare paper. It will be so nice to be home for a few months. Hot dog!

This is a dry run for my reintroduction into the livejournal world, so please forgive the bland and blase comments. I intend on improving them with time.

And I think Disneyland is in order. You know who you are. And you know that I love you.

I have seen more flying cockroaches than...

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 02:23:33 GMT

So. Jules wanted to take me to some little island to go snorkeling. Which would be fun. But I don't really like spending money, especially when it is my sister's. But she wanted to do something. Here is where my story begins.......

I get back from camp. She isn't home because she is working. I go to sleep. She wakes me up. Here is where her story begins......

Julie's coworker (Amy) is talking to our local Big Kahuna (Doris) about the company choir that Doris sent to Hong Kong to see the Abba musical Mama Mia! and then Doris tells Amy that she should go see it. Amy says it would be nice, but she doesn't have the money. Doris says she will pay for her and asks who she would like to take. Amy is so excited and says Melissa, Jessie, and Julie. YAY! So Julie goes into Doris saying how excited everyone is. Doris asks why they are waiting until August 6 to go, and Julie says because her sister (that would be me) is still in Taiwan then, and Doris asks if Lauren (that would be me again) wouldn't like to go... assuming that the girl in question isn't a musical-loving fiend who would give five inches of hair to go to Hong Kong while she is still in the general area of Asia... Julie straightens Doris out and here we are.....

So. I am going to Hong Kong with some of the most fun people in Southeast Asia on July 27 and then I get back on July29, and then I leave for home on August 2 around 11pm, arriving in San Diego a mere half an hour after I leave Taiwan. I hate time changes.

Thank you for your letter, you know who you are. It was the nicest thing! ♥

OH DEAR LORD.

Tue, 13 Jul 2004 05:39:46 GMT

So.
*Guess who passed her English with a 3. Me. I'm not even going to touch the whole, Lauren you could have done better issue because I freaking passed. Woot Woot.
*Guess who passed her Physics with a 3. FREAKING ME!! holy crap. I think I might have to start break dancing in my cubicle.

I don't think you guys understand how ready I was for a 1. Physics and I do not get along. I don't want to follow the rules of Thermodynamics and it wants to increase the gravitational force directly around me, but the Lord Jesus in Heaven granted me a moment of harmony. So now I am going to go out drinking and smoking and pimping to celebrate. Or I might just stay home and drink Starbucks while watching Sense and Sensibility with Julie. Tough decision.....

where are you going? where are you going? can you take me?

Mon, 12 Jul 2004 07:06:41 GMT

It would seem as though I have officially lived through a typhoon. You guys should be thanking the Lord God Almighty who was and is and is to come that i made it through. Not that I have pride issues or anything.
Only really funny news I may lift up as an offering...the shirt I am wearing presently says verbatim.

yet it's still varry toough totally ventilation. and two snap two large, removable and.. nylon drip strip close saide

there's just retain animals body heat into populat wallet styles. you'll appreciate the rugged

pockets and an inside breast pocket They have a heavier butt and exclusive taper eliminates the calmmy feel of nylon and offers away from your body and then past. there didn't seem to be any season need after we've logged fifty years

so that is the sick sad world of English I am in right now. Luckily, I have been reading a lot to try and maintain some semblence of good English. Proper English. All I have to say is...
Thank for Patronize

perfect holiness

Fri, 25 Jun 2004 07:25:43 GMT

well, it is currently monsooning. that is exciting. i now have a cute little floral print umbrella to keep myself safe. rain. new umbrella. i don't think there could be anything better.

taiwan would be a lot better if i knew chinese. although, i now know when the girl at 7-11 is going to ask me if i would like a bag, and i will no longer be fooled by that trick... it costs a dollar more. which amounts to like 30 cents in America, but still. i would rather look like a moron doing a circus act than pay an extra dollar for a plastic bag, i don't care how sturdy it is.

i have been reading a lot lately. fairly exciting. ask me about it unless you are thomas, nick, or emily. i wrote you guys letters including an synopsis of my book reading... and don't get too excited heather and jess, i wrote you, too. i just highlighted other things. i like to mix it up. you know it. &hearts;

well, it has been a week. only six more to go. my mom said that i could come home after four weeks, thanks to a silly little mix-up at julie's work concerning me... but i will probably be sticking it out, no matter how nice it would be to be home. we shall see.

Fri, 18 Jun 2004 03:12:38 GMT

i am so here. other than a middle-aged taiwanese man talking to his old mother throughout the flight, discussing the pros and cons of asking my parents for my hand in marriage, the flight was pretty fine. although, i don't think that i have ever wanted to go to alaska, siberia, japan, or south korea more... but we finally got here after thirteen hours, and the entire airport wreked of pirates of the caribbean. nice and humid in the taiwan.

thanks to all of the people who wished me well. that was swell. and i will stop rhyming now. i mean it.*

obviously, as evidenced by this post, i have access to the gloriuos internet, so talk to me. i will be in communication.

*anybody want a peanut?

Mon, 14 Jun 2004 05:07:55 GMT

Plane Ticket. Check. Passport. Check. Visa. Check.

So I am off. Don't worry. I will more than likely be back in seven weeks. I leave Wednesday. I get back Monday. No big thing. Only seven weeks.

China has missiles pointed at Taiwan. No big thing. Just try not to piss off any world powers for a while.

I think that now would be an appropriate time for all of my friends to prepare a rough draft of a eulogy for me. Post them. I'm interested to see what you have to say. I always have wanted to attend my funeral.

But it will be fine. I won't die. You'll see.

If it chooses to show up, here is a picture of me so that you won't forget the girl that you once loved. Even if it doesn't show up, I feel that the square containing a square containing a red x is a very accurate representation of what I look like.

and i am out.

However far away, I will always love you.

i feel it in my fingers. i feel it in my toes. love is all around me. so the feeling grows.

Tue, 01 Jun 2004 01:55:01 GMT

Since last update I.....
*Got married
*Had two and a half children
*Got license
*Got a seven-period senior schedule
*Ate a live octopus
*Memorized Macbeth
*Read a good book
*Felt like an inferior moron walking into Music Trader
*Went in the big fountain at Balboa accompanied by small naked boy
*Took pictures without film in the camera
*Watched Love Actually with mom and she actually loved it
*Got tickets for Taiwan
*Got passport for Taiwan
*Got scared about going to Taiwan
*Bought shorts
*Decided I need to get out more
*Ate entirely too much
*Wanted to be a Bond Girl
*Loved Godspell and the sexy beasts in it
*Had doubts
*Wanted to die rather than give in and go to school the last three weeks

grrrrrowl.

Greetings Earthlings!

Sun, 02 May 2004 00:31:22 GMT

What stupid celebrity are you destined to kill? by daydreamer8852
Name
Birthdate
You killed
With a
On	September 2, 2012

Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

hehe.
♥

the gov't has spen thousands training you to be a highly efficient killing machine, so act like it.

Wed, 21 Apr 2004 05:42:55 GMT

Interview excerpt presented by the me.

Jenna: What is one word that accurately describes you, and explain why.
The me:*Silence* Koala. Chiefly because it is said that i resemble a koala, so that is cool... and i am soft and cuddly. Also, i don't let go of things... not things like emotional baggage or anything, more like when i make a commitment, i hold onto it.
Jenna: i wasn't aware that koalas hold onto things.
The me: Oh you know, like when they are committed to getting eucalyptus leaves, they grab onto that tree and don't let go until their mission is complete.

i guess it is better than last year when they asked if i had anything to add, and i said "i am 5'4 and like miniature horses." hmmm. big improvement. dang it.

ha. i was putting my contacts in this sunday, and i did it in my room because my mom was doing her hair in the bathroom, and guess what i,the retard, did. she drops her contact onto her shag limegreen carpet and has to send out a search party only to find it lying quietly behind her. OI. i kill myself.

i had a dream last night that i called time on the phone and instead of the automated lady, it was a personal operator, and we had a nice long conversation, and it was funny because she would remember her job during the middle of a thought and add "it is 7:32 and ten seconds" and keep going with her stories. i want to call her all of the time. ha, no pun intended.

love buzz

Thu, 15 Apr 2004 21:23:27 GMT

SPRING BREAK REVELATIONS OF THE LAUREN

* being around boy(s) makes me an emotional wreck at a certain time of the month. and it blows. i am not all about being hormonal. so to all the women who independent... throw your hands up at me.
* i have tons of homework left... buuuut why do it now when i have what? three days left? right.
* i am not the contact-putting-in virtuoso that i once thought i could become. i got them yesterday and i still suck. then i realize... 'lauren you are one clumsy fool, and contacts fall places... you better hope that the lord god almighty himself is on your side... you suck.'
* who needs education when you can be well versed in vh1's top twenty countdown?
* i need a haircut...

Jesus rocks...religious landscaping products coming soon to a dixieline near you.

Sun, 11 Apr 2004 21:28:33 GMT

You've always believed that you can judge a man by his handshakes, which is why you continue to denounce the theories of Stephen Hawking.

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

yeah. i am so normal it hurts.

Sun, 04 Apr 2004 16:44:11 GMT

i ♥ you.